This is a photo of the rising moon over the lake in Arkansas. I like it.

These jobs I am in always have me in deep thought, trying to figure things out, trying to understand others, comprehend my life and just get by. I think, the more I think, that it is I who is wired wrong and not others. Perhaps these guys I work with are just being themselves, just functioning the way they are meant to and here I am, questioning it all because it doesn't fit into my idealised picture of a happy, cozy, perfect little world where people get along and when they don't then getting along becomes their objective. Perhaps I am not as "only child" as people think because I want this harmony and team attitude and loyalty so bad. Then perhaps I am the most selfish being after all. Perhaps my need to always be nice and never be percieved as a bitch IS a selfish act because by being nice to others I am pleasing myself on the high of "doing the right thing". You've got to admit, being nice to someone does give one a good feeling. So, all this time I have been nothing but selfish while accusing the men I work with of being selfish.